Ricky Sinclair: Family Matters

April 30, 2017

I. Goal:  To grow children into healthy, productive, happy, well-adjusted adults

II. Essentials:

  1. Access to healthcare
  2. Nutrition
  3. Good schools
  4. Safe neighborhoods
  5. Love
  6. Plenty of encouragement
  7. Great parents
  8. Spirituality – taught to have a relationship with God

III. Why Marriage matters to Children – Research says Children coming from divorce:

  1. Have a higher dropout rate from school
  2. Lower test scores – lower grade averages
  3. Miss more school days and have less of a chance to attend college
  4. Girls have a higher pregnancy rate
  5. Higher substance abuse rate
  6. Twenty to thirty percent more health problems – stress, emotional, psychological and spiritual
  7. Higher rate of molestation

H.Comments from children of divorce:  “My parent left home because of me.”  “Why did they divorce?”  “When will I stop hurting?”  “When will my mom stop hating my dad?”  “Why do I have to be the go-between?”

VI. Recognizing and Raising Individuals

  1. There’s no one like you – Just as every snowflake has a different design, so God has created every person as a unique individual.  Every child has his or her own God-given temperament and personality.  This makes a child his or her own person.

A child’s temperament is made up of character traits, tendencies, gifts and abilities that are unique to him.  A child can be active or passive, strong-willed or flexible.  A parent must be sensitive to their approach in raising their children.  We must never compromise proper training and discipline but must always be mindful of the child’s temperament and personality.  It’s not a “one size fits all” when bringing children up.  We must work with God to shape our kids into unique expressions of God.

  1. The Rhyme and Reason – Really the purpose of life is to bring glory to God.  As we become more like God in His image and likeness we fulfill our purpose.  Many are confused and lack vision and fulfillment in their lives because they are not allowing themselves to become shaped into the image of God.
  1. God has an intended direction in which each child should go.  A way of life reflecting righteousness and faith.  We all have a unique destiny and a place of service. Parents have a responsibility to see that their children receive instruction and training that will prepare them to fulfill these two goals.

V. Why Young People Act Like They Do

A. Peer Pressure – Many kids are pressured to act a certain way or they put on a mask to fit in. The reason they act like this is because they are looking for acceptance, approval, and affection. For young girls, the need for male affection should be appropriately met by her father. Many times if a young girl doesn’t receive affection from her father she will seek to find it in a boyfriend. As a result, the boy misunderstands her thinking that she is looking for something else. Many young girls end up hurt, belittled, and let down as they are taken advantage of.

B. Hormones – The human chemistry in young people is in a state of imbalance for a few years. This can cause agitation, outburst, depression, and many other character traits that seem to make no sense. You may see a lack of self-discipline, risk taking, and goofiness. But, parents be patient, knowing that this is just a phase.

C. Role Models – Every kid  is searching and seeking to develop their own individual personality, therefore, they are looking at different people to see who they are and what they are so that they can figure out how to form their own personality. Most of the time they will look to older kids. That is why it is so important for parents to make sure their children are hanging out with people who are living right and doing right, providing a good example and influence in their children’s lives. “Be not deceived, evil communications corrupts good manners.” (I Corinthians 15:33)

Young people remember, whoever you associate with is what you will become. If you want to soar with the eagles, you can’t scratch with the chickens. “You shall make no covenant (agreement) with them, nor with their gods. They shall not dwell in your land, lest they make you sin against me for if you serve their gods, it will surely be a snare (trap) unto you.” (Exodus 23:32-33) Don’t let anyone trap you!

Parents no matter what’s going on around your children or how they may appear to stray, always remember that you are their strongest defense and the ones they are actually watching. What you do and say matters!

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