PEELED, WHAT’S UNDER YOUR SKIN?
Ephesians 5:20-25; Colossians 3:17-25
I. Marriage is a picture that represents the covenant love of Christ and His bride the church.
A. The wife receives her role model from the church as the church follows Christ. The church is called by God to follow Christ.
B. The husband receives his role model from Christ as head of the church. Christ lays His life down for the church.
C. Why does headship and submission matter so much? Because this is God’s design. It is His will and plan for the church and the family.
1. Christ wants the submission of the church to be out of a free will, with love, joy, and peace.
2. Christ wants the church to know Him and understand Him and why submission to Him is right.
3. Christ does not want slaves with a joyless, mindless submission. The church must submit to Christ her leader out of love and respect. This is what brings Him glory and honor.
4. A good husband does not want a performing wife. Things that are done without joy, just out of duty, a slavish submissiveness is not a true relationship.
5. A good husband wants a free wife full of knowledge, wisdom and understanding when she commits herself to follow him.
6. Husbands and wives both know that Christ is perfect, sinless and never misleads while the husband is an imperfect leader yet striving to lead like Jesus, so they extend grace to each other.
D. Husbands and wives understand that Christ is king and both are submitted first to Him as the supreme leader.
1. Jesus is her direct Lord, not an indirect Lord through her husband.
2. In obedience to the Lord we submit back our roles and responsibilities in marriage and family and the institutions of the world that God has assigned to us.
3. Christian husbands lead while understanding they do not know everything. Neither do they think they are superior and the wife is less than as a person in knowledge and insight.
4. A mature Christian husband does not act immature or childish. He does not lead with arrogance and pride, bullying, and making one-sided decisions.
5. A mature Christian husband will always seek out both the wisdom and the desire of his wife.
II. The role of a husband
A. A husband should have a God given desire, a sense of responsibility to lead, to protect, to provide for his wife and family.
B. This sense of responsibility drives him and motivates him to take the initiative with his wife and children in the family, making sure they are cared for so that God’s will is done in every member of his family.
C. He is always looking to his wife for her wisdom and perception to help him pursue their path as a family. He knows he has blind-spots and realizes God gave her to him. The two become one.
1. A wife does not want to feel like she is constantly doing the initiating, prodding to talk about things that need to be talked about, planning things that need to be planned, doing things that need to be done.
D. The husband leads with his wife by his side with vision for the family as Christ leads with vision for his church.
1. He ask questions, finding the answer with his wife. Working together, submitted one to another.
2. What do we believe about God, the world, family, culture?
3. What gifts do we have in this family and how will we glorify God with them?
4. What does our family stand for and what will we be known for?
5. A man’s responsibility is to figure out God’s assignment for him and his family and then pursuing that plan.
6. A godly man feels responsibility to figure out, initiate, and organize a vision to make his family everything God has shown him they should be.
E. A woman is thrilled when a man takes initiative and includes her with her gifts to partner with him to fight and live for the vision of their family.
1. What are the expectations we have for our children and how will we discipline? Dad’s discipline looks a little different than Mom’s.
2. This is what our leisure time looks like.
3. To what church is God leading our family?
4. What will be our level of involvement in church functions and how can we best invite our family and friends to church with us?
5. This is the lifestyle we believe for our family and how we watch TV, social media, entertainment, sports, and vacations.
In a family, hundreds of decisions are made and have to be made. A wife does not want a head that is lackadaisical and does not think about what has to be done. She wants him to take the initiative and say: let’s sit down-let’s pray-let’s think together-let’s talk-let’s make some good decisions.
III. In our family this is what our finances look like.
A. We spend our money based on a budget, assigning every dollar a task.
B. We are saving for a house, a car, retirement, education and emergencies.
C. We will tithe and give offerings knowing that God will open up the heavens and pour out blessings so much upon us that we will not be able to receive them all.
As the husband puts the process in motion, she is going to have great wisdom to work things out, solve problems and make plans.
IV. Husbands are responsible to lead their families spiritually.
A. Covering them in prayer.
B. Ensuring the family is reading and understanding the Word of God.
C. Periodically checking everybody’s spiritual health.