Atypical: Communication

ATYPICAL FAMILIES

Communication

Matthew 18:10-20

“10   Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

11   For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

12   How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

13   And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

14   Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

15  Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

16  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

17   And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

18   Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

19   Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

20   For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”  (Matthew 18:10-20)

I.  Hard Talk

A.  What are some reasons a family might need to have a tough conversation?

1.  A difference of opinion

2.  Hurt feelings

3.  A misunderstanding

4.  Direction and character building

B.  Think about Adam and Eve – the world’s first family

1.  Disobedient to God

2.  Lies

3.  Murder

4.  Conflict and disagreement

5.  Anger and jealousy

C.  Let’s talk and think about Isaac and Rebekah’s family 

(Genesis 25:21-24, 32:1-31)

“21  And Isaac entreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

22  And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the Lord.

23  And the Lord said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.

24  And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.”  (Genesis 25:21-24)

1.  Competition and favoritism

2.  Soup

3.  Jealousy

4.  Deception and costumes

5.  Heartbreak, pain

6.  Family separation, running 

7.  Life’s struggle and process

II.   Grow – Maturity, Healing, Unity

A.  When conflict happens and we are too stubborn, angry, ashamed, or afraid to have tough conversations it leaves room for some bad things to grow.

B.  After 20 years of silence and separation Jacob and Esau could have nurtured hatred, bitterness, and anger against each other. 

But we see that both chose to humble themselves, to open their hearts and arms towards each other and have a conversation that was absolutely essential to healing their relationship.

III.  Purpose 

A.  God has designed us to live in relationship with Him and with each other.

B.  God wants us to live in peace with each other, but not fake peace where we smile at each other but secretively have an offense. 

C.  When we hang onto bitterness and anger it keeps us from having a closer relationship with God.

D.  If you want God to use your family to do atypical things, sometimes you have to be the first person in your family to initiate tough conversation.

E.   Every family has conflicts and struggles to resolve.

IV.  How

A.  Ask: Hey, Can we talk about what happened?

B.  Listen: When they share their feelings and perspective.

C.  Be honest: Say what you think and feel.

D.  Admit: When you’re wrong.

E.  Compromise: We have to be willing to give. Sometimes there is no right or wrong side, only different.

F.  Value Relationships: More than being right.

Is there a tough conversation you need to have with someone? What’s stopping you?

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